My boyfriend and I started dating June 1st of last year and we both had vacations planned abroad beforehand-I was going to Salamanca, Spain for a Medical Spanish for Pharmacists elective class for two weeks shortly after we started dating and he was going to Costa Rica with another friend in September just to go someplace that neither of them had visited before. Well tonight he was talking to the friend he went to Costa Rica with and I thought I heard him tell him that they should go away on another island getaway vacation before his friend’s Russian fiance moves to the US permanently. Hold on…now you both have women. Why not plan to go away with your women instead? Save trips within the continental US for your bromance. So I tweeted this to my fellow twitter friends to see what they had to say
Of course most people would tell me that it’s equally important for guys to spend time with their bros just like girls need their girl time, but it made me realize that I’ve never really had friends like that. Sure I have female friends; I have friends from class that I spend about 40 hours with every week and we share our lunch hours together. Then I do have the occasional work friend or non-pharmacy school friend that I meet for dinner, but I can’t say that I really have a female friend that I would be able to take a week long girls trip with without wanting to wring their neck. I don’t think it’s anything personal, I just think it’s either one of two things: 1) I like having my alone time or 2) I just haven’t found a permanent female friendship since the ones I had in high school turned out to be flaky.
1) I guess it’s weird to think I like to be alone, but it’s the truth. People think because I’m chatty and social that I’m a social butterfly. Well maybe a social networking butterfly, but to be honest I could care less about parties and mingling in real life. I don’t know if it’s my current situation with being stuck in a classroom with 60 other people for almost 8 hours a day 5 days a week that makes me value my alone time when I can go home and be away from everyone or what. But when I’m free on the weekends, I’m planning my time with Russell, so I guess I’m not really using that time alone either. This brings me to my second point:
2) I realize that some of the people in my life right now are just here for RIGHT NOW; and that it’s easier to avoid forming those close friendly relationships because what’s the point if the friendship is just a flake like my friends from high school? I have only one friend that we remained close since we graduated high school in 2005. Currently she’s living in Texas with her husband and 3 day old newborn daughter but she’s the only close friendship that has remained over the years. My two other close friends (one being noted in https://365daysofbrandtastic.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/a-fake-blonde-with-fake-boobs-and-possibly-a-fake-brain/) from high school both decided to move away for undergrad and conveniently forgot about us all when they were there. The one even went as far to only call me when she was coming home during her freshman year so that I could pick her up and drive her around the area because she was car-less at the moment. Once she bought a set of wheels the calls ceased to let me know she was coming home and the only way I knew she was home was by Facebook pictures of her at the beach. Her and my Texas friend saw each other once when the latter was studying in Hawaii for a brief period of time and the first’s friend was living nearby when she went to visit her. The two friends were talking and it was noted that the flaky one (who only wanted to call me for a ride) said that she had no reason to want to associate with anyone back home so what was the point of contacting anyone. Well…I see how much she valued our friendship. So much in fact that I had to learn of her wedding through Facebook as well. And to think that I considered her my best friend in senior year-I guess all the times we were together hanging out at either one of our houses was for nothing but just insurance for her that she’d have a friend back home to call when she wanted to go somewhere.
So aside from my rambling about fake friends, I guess the take home message here is that I don’t have those kind of girlfriends. If I really wanted to go out and a have a gabfest it would be possible, but how close do I really feel to those people–and a week long chick trip? Forget about it.
Just a random bathroom selfie I was able to take while at work this morning. Notice I didn’t crop out the handtowel dispenser-I have nothing to hide here, so my pic is probably more real than some of my friends ever will be. But then again they really aren’t friends now are they?