I know I possibly sound like the wrong person to make this rant, but it has to be made.
And believe me, before I found happiness with Russell before going through all those bad dating experiences (that I’m working on posting in lieu of for Valentine’s Day) I was single— and I didn’t die. I didn’t feel like I absolutely needed to be paired with someone to be happy with myself.
I kind of enjoyed being single actually. I was able to come home from class on Friday evening and relax. I would go to work the next day and then come home and do whatever I pleased. I didn’t have to worry about scheduling conflicts with someone else over what we were doing for the weekend or where we were going. You know why I was content being single?
Because I was happy with myself. MYSELF. That’s where these females need to start. Be content just knowing that you can survive without having that other half. No one said you’re going to shrivel up and die if you’re not dating someone constantly.
I just had to make this rant after I’ve seen numerous people recently break up with one person only to start dating someone else within a very short time frame. And then they broke up with those people as well. Then comes the statuses/tweets/texts about how they’re probably meant to be alone. NO! You will find someone, in time…be patient!
Then lets talk about the females who fail to realize that they can get their life together without a man. What do I mean? One example is this girl I know…she went through break up cycles like I just mentioned and after every one of them was done with, she’d mope around and then within a few weeks to a month she decided she needed to start dating again. The problem was that she had high expectations for the guys she wanted to attract-she wanted the independent guys who had their shit together when in fact she didn’t have hers. I remember telling her one day that I couldn’t be too picky when I was talking to new guys when they said they may have lived at home-I’m still at my parents’ house as well until I finish my doctorate degree, but does that mean I’m a total loser? No. It’s not like I’m working a minimum wage job, not wanting to advance my career, and possibly blowing my paycheck on things that weren’t important. I’m so busy studying that I’m barely home and with my staggering tuition costs (pharmacy school is comparable to medical school, and we’ve ALL heard about doctors’ steep student loans) I can’t afford to move out and into an apartment that I’m never going to see. I’m just temporarily stuck because I’m getting my shit together while I’m preparing to do big things with my life. (And I didn’t need a guy in my life to make me want to advance on my own.) How do you know that that guy living at home or with roommates isn’t doing the same? It’s not like she lived on her own either to be telling someone what she expected from them.
But I feel like that’s the problem with some of today’s females. They forget that they can try to advance on their own.
You don’t need a guy to help motivate you to finally move out of your parent’s house or whatever living situation you’re in.
Want to go back to school? Go back to school, you don’t need him to hold your hand the whole time.
You want to be able to live a lifestyle where you can buy that nice car you want and pamper yourself? Then do it…just know that you can do it on your own. Don’t down yourself so that you have to rely on a man.
And for the single mothers who are dating…please, get your shit together for your child(ren) first. Don’t be so worried about finding some guy who will give you the attention you need or who will take care of you because you already have someone who is giving you attention–your child. Try to do better for them and don’t worry about dating until you can proudly stand back and realize that everything you have for you and your child is because of you and YOU ALONE.
I don’t know if I can stress this anymore. But women want to think they’re independent, so go out there and work your way to independence. You’ll complain if a guy calls you a gold digger but if you’re relying on a guy to take care of you then why get mad?
Prove them wrong.