Why ask if you really didn’t want to know?

So I completed my last IPPE (Introductory Pharmacy Practices Experiences-and for those who know me it’s not really an introductory since I’ve worked in Pharmacy retail for the past 10 years but rather it’s the first rotation that is dispersed in our first two years of the program) this week. My school uses E-Value for grading and evaluations so I log on to the site to see my evaluation that my preceptor (who also happens to be a professor who is leaving at the end of this semester) has completed.
Just some background information about this IPPE rotation: I was with 11 other students and we went to a nursing home for our Institutional IPPE. We are suppose to be at our sites for 8 hours every other Tuesday in place of class but our professor would only have us meet for a 2 hour meeting on those days and then we were all assigned a resident that we were to meet with at least once a week. She gave us more personalized assignments than what we were scheduled to do on our IPPE days but that made up for the fact that we weren’t made to be at the nursing home for the whole 8 hours when we were there. Part of these assignments included a personal (private-only she read them) reflection about our visit with our residents. She encouraged us to write about how our visits made us feel instead of just writing about what we talked about with our residents. So I did…
Except that she didn’t seem to like my reflections. My resident was almost 91, widowed with no children and she wasn’t from the area so she didn’t have friends or family who stopped by. She often seemed depressed (as was noted in her medical charts) and you could tell she wasn’t happy. She expressed to me once that the nursing home staff only did the bare minimum in regards to taking care of the residents. So I reflected on this and wrote about it.
I don’t want to end up 90 years old living in a nursing home where I feel staff isn’t taking care of me. I also voiced my opinion on how it was hard to communicate with my resident due to her dementia so I heard some of the same stories every time I was there and it was hard to carry on a fluid conversation. Possibly also the vast age barrier (mind you, I’m 27). Towards the end of my visits I couldn’t think of anything to write in these reflections other than it’s a great opportunity but depressing at the same time and it makes you evaluate your life and how you’re currently living it.
I read my evaluation and she noted that I was negative at times and it could make it hard for people to work with me in the future. Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but didn’t she want our PERSONAL feelings? Of course I’m not going to talk to all my colleagues about this when working but why ask for our own reflections about a rotation only to tell me it’s wrong?
So preceptors, please voice this to your students. Don’t ask for our personal feelings and thoughts if you are only going to chastise us for them.

20140428-053856.jpgHad to document the last day of IPPE iutside under the signage. See ya, so long!

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